I *Speeet* on You, Jet Lag

Over to Australia time - October 11th. Arrival day.

People at baggage carousels are ANIMALS.

I'm just saying.

Anyways, I breezed through customs - which was good because I had 500 ml too much alcohol - wandered through the door and there were Matt's parents. Who are utterly adorable. Although Matt looks like his father so much that it's a bit disconcerting to look at him.

I can't stress how nice it is to have someone waiting for you at the airport, even if you've never met them before.

And Phil has forever endeared himself to me because he got a little lost on the way to my hostel.

Which is really old and really cool. And really huge. They "upgraded" me to a room with a fridge and a fantastic view of downtown Melbourne ( I'm in South Yarra), mostly I think because I showed up on time and they probably like to check out their guests before they decide on a room, so that must mean they found me acceptable.

We made arrangements for a time for Matt's parents to come for me the next day and since it was only 11:30ish, I unpacked a bit before heading out to find some food.

After walking around for a good hour and a bit and seeing nothing but a Subway and a McDonalds - which I REFUSE to eat at in another country - (other than a 7-11 or two and some pricey restaurants) I was despairing of finding a little grocery, so I figured I may as well turn around and head in the direction of 'home' and go a little ways in the other direction.

I tell ya, I could have wept with JOY when I came over a rise and before me lay entire blocks lined with shops. Noting a deli and a bakery to stop at on the way back, I passed them by in search of a place to buy a bottle of wine.

Hey, I know what's important, don't you worry. Besides, it's wine country man.

I came across a little shop that looked like a wholesalers but I couldn't quite figure out why it would be a storefront on a street so finally I just went in and asked.

A Canadian accent should get me some leeway for an aura of confusion and stupidity, I figure.

Anyways, the gentleman there - whose name is MATT, boys and girls, explained it all to me. The neato (did I just say neato?) thing is that you can sample the wines. So, yanno, yayy!

Matt (hey, Matt if you're here - I'm going to call you MelbourneMatt from now one because you're the third Matt I know and otherwise this all gets so confusing to my friends here, kay?) - has brought me up to speed on car insurance and registration and also took me shopping for cheese and pate and all sorts of lovely things to eat. In addition to providing some wine, of course.

Lots of wine tasting and a picnic later, (where I think the fruit fly visited me again) I wandered back 'home', had a shower, ate some more, drank some more, did a little bit of laundrey (because of course my favorite white t-shirt only stayed stainless for about 24 hours) took a gravol and crashed out at about 8 pm.

Up once about 3 am and up for good at 7 am, it is now 8:15 and I am going to get off my bed and out of my jammies and get ready to go before taking my little storage chip and seeing if anyone is downstairs to sell me some internet time so I can post these.

So, no jet lag and I'm all caught up to the day/night at the right time thing and I feel fantastic. So, there you have the secret - WINE and CHEESE!

Today, Matt's parents and I are heading out of the city to Werribee Park, which is described in my book as...

The mansion at Werribee Park is a good bet, with serene sculptured gardens, an imposing billiards room, and an expansive nursery. From October to May, the bloom of 5,000 roses colors the garden. Animals from the grasslands of Australia, Africa and Asia give the 200 hectare open range zoo the feel of a safari.

And Phil has promised to tell me about the "squatstocracy" and they've brought their maps so we can talk about their travels and I can get good ideas for my drive around Aus next year.

Cheers! Also new pictures are in here.

Just a Quick Thought

I have a cold.

And a hangover.

My cousin and I drank three bottles of wine.

The cab driver got lost and so didn't charge me. I think.

I've got to go find a bank machine so I can get to the airport.

Isn't this exciting?

See you in Perth.

*sneeze* *bleurgh*

Park Like Setting

Thursday, October 13

"Are you in love?"
"No."
'But you look like you are someone who wants to eat every part of life, how could you not be in love?"
"Ahh, maybe someday."
"Can I come closer to you?"
No.
*stomps off* "You see, THAT is why you are not in love, you are Closed Off." *mutter mutter*

And that, ladies and gentleman, was the first man who tried to pick me up, this afternoon in the Royal Botanic Gardens. He wasn't Australian, I think he may have been Iranian or something in that area of the planet.

Melbourne Matt tells me that men here are inspired by Ivan Milat, who apparantly picked up backpackers in New South Wales National Parks in the early 2000's, raped them and slit their throats.

Mr. Smart Ass.

So, yes, I am back in the shop asking all sorts of questions. Because there are many things I do not understand about Australia and I'm pretty sure it's not okay to accost people on the street to ask insane questions.

Because, you know, accent aside - they think you are insane.

So - things I have found that are completely different and/or terribly strange and confusing:

-the "half-flush" and "full-flush" options on the toilets
-they auction their real estate - they don't sell it
-you cannot order any coffee without hot milk (ie: it is ALL specialty coffee)
-an awful lot of stuff has no way of being closed to the elements - ie: toilet facilities are outside or there is no glass in the door, just a lattice

-Asians with Australian accents

-there are parrots just flying around (I've never seen a parrot in the 'wild' - Matt's parent thought that hilarious)

So, I think I've gotten over the part where I couldn't figure out why there were cars EVERYWHERE with people just sitting in them (hint: the drivers side is on the other side of the car) then there was the problem that (and this is actually quite reasonable) the people on the sidewalk are in my way. Cause, you know, our left arm in to the inside of the sidewalk because that's how we drive and their right arm is in the inside because that's how they drive

I'm sure I'm annoying the shit out of Melbourne Matt with the questions, "Do you have pennies? Why do you auction houses? Can you explain coffee to me? What if I....? Why do you...>?

-------later--------- Thursday I didn't do a whole lot actually - some shopping in Toorak, the Royal Botanic Gardens which are just at the end of my street and then I just drank a lot and annoyed Melbourne Matt.

So, today, apart from a mild hangover - I HAVE A COLD. arg. double arg. So I feel crappy and it's already 12:15 and I'm still sitting on my butt drinking tea.

I'm not too worried about it though - that's the good thing about knowing you're coming back. Once I finish this I am wandering off to downtown for the first time to see the Melbourne Gaol and then meeting my cousin for dinner. Then back here to pack as I'm off in the morning to Perth.

Making Like An Aussie

Interim Post

Sorry about all the double non-caption pictures kids - gotta upload these things while you can. I've cleaned up the doubles (mostly). If you want to ignore all that stuff - in the next couple days I'll have it all cleaned up and get a bunch of postdated stuff in here so I'll let you know when it's 'safe' to go back in the galleries.

So, to impress the two Aussies who come here, I have now.....

-had Anzac biccies (hard oatmeal cookies)
-drunk my coffee through a Tim-Tam
AND
-am actually looking forward to my cup of instant coffee in the mornings.

I'll be back later to tell you about chasing kangaroos, killing sheep and what on earth was I doing laughing at this comment...

"Ahh cawn't believe ahh cawn't find Austraaaalia's second most venomous spyyydah on my fahm, Ahh'm so disappointed.

I Only Have 3 Minutes

but I'm here to tell you I'll be back later and will upload tons o' stuff.

thank god I've found the internet.

I missed you.