if you're not a penguin...shut it - Floating My OWN Boat v.2

I was sitting outside with the Hissmeister holding court upon my lap and pushing in on the bone on the side where it doesn't poke out very much and there was this sort of squishing grinding sound and now there isn't a lump on the left side anymore.

Of course, then I got all excited and really pushed on the other side where it's so big now it looks like a hive and all I got for that was a couple grating noises like nails on a chalkboard and an even bigger headache (but maybe? a little smaller lump?)

Seriously, I thought they were just trying to get me to go away and quit bugging them about the bones poking out of my face with that cockamamie story.

But, ewwwwwww, it was gross. I'll bet there's a ton of big grown up boys-at-heart out there who love that sort of thing and think I'm lucky I get to shove the bones of my own face around.

Whatever, guys, back away from the computer, go outside and pull some legs offa ants instead. It's really not as neato as it sounds.