I've been working my way back up to pushing out a few writey bits, foremost in my mind have been ones variously titled, "Everybody Lies" and "The Honesty of Worms".
Real life, however, just won't get the fuck out of my way. And, frankly, I'm getting a bit tired of it.
1. 22 months after my injury, the military managed to squeeze out of it's massive inertial ass the paltry sum of $1260. After taking a full 5 weeks to process the EMERGENCY request. After approving said EMERGENCY request, they then took a further 25 days to get the money to me with a lovely letter about how their contingency fund was established to provide emergency financial aid and aids to daily living for injured members of the Canadian Forces. I was THISCLOSE to sending it back with a note saying, "I'm sorry, your emergency funding was sadly FAR TOO FUCKING LATE and PRIVATE LIPPY IS NOW DEAD. Donations in her name will be gladly accepted to the "Save the Worms" foundation.
I have also been utterly flabbergasted by the amount of people who expect me to be all droolingly thankful. Oh yes, thank you for sending me .025% of the money I've lost. That makes up for those 4 months I spent not being able to move my arms. You betcha. Now, how about another .025% for the 5 day migraine that's kept me in bed this week? Maybe a coupla bucks for never being able to run, swim, kayak, or carry things ever again? Thanks. You're just too good to me.
I'm not even sorry that I just can't squeeze out any enthusiasm and I have that look on my face when you mention how great it is that I got some money.
2. I had a great meeting with my Member of Parliament. Felt like I'd really gotten somewhere in at least a couple of policy changes that'll help soldiers returning from Afghanistan to not have to go through what I've gone through. Until I got the bcc'd letter to the Minister of Veteran's Affairs today that kind of got it all erm.. wrong.
3. My own personal Veteran's Affairs case has been stalled by my doctor. Who, although he has written a lovely 5 page letter - he did not fill out the FORMS required to assess disability. And, due to my "constellation of physical issues" nor could he provide an exact diagnosis.
Must.have.diagnosis. So, now I'm waiting 3 or 4 more months to see yet another specialist (a sports injury and rehabilitation doctor) with the specific purpose of DIAGNOSIS.
4. The entire claim itself is in the appeal process, as it took someone a year and a half to actually find the right program for me to apply to. Which, of course, was 6 months past the filing deadline.
The appeal goes in on June 9th. The board then has 5 months to make a decision. A positive decision then only begins the process to determine compensation eligibility. I'll be 80 before I see a cheque, I'm sure and I'm betting it'll be .050%, .025% of which I'll have to repay to somebody, somewhere. A requirement which, sadly, I'll learn of just as I'm being arrested for tax fraud.
5. After my tenant, lovely man that he is - not, refused to set a date, be polite, or refrain from hanging up on my real estate agent - for us to assess the condo for sale (original plan - no renos, sell it as an investment with him in it), I finally just packed it in and gave the fucker his 3 months notice. Which felt kinda good. Until I realized that I now need $10,000 to pay the bills while I renovate and sell it.
Shall I stop now? Have you had enough? Is that you weeping and moaning "uncle, uncle" out there?
I have a diagnosis for these people. And it's not polite. Rather than set myself up for some heavy duty jail-time, I've come to the only conclusion I can....
...it's time to start lobbying for a name for my condition, life etc. "Chronic Jenopathy".
Chronic: This important term in medicine comes from the Greek chronos, time and means lasting a long time.
Jen: The state of being Jen. The static state of nothing going right the first time. The inability to move forward without a fight - in every instance of its occurrence.
Pathy: a suffix derived from the Greek "pathos" meaning "suffering or disease" that serves as a suffix in many terms including myopathy (muscle disease), neuropathy (nerve disease), retinopathopathy (disease of the retina), sympathy (literally, suffering together), etc.
If I'm going down, I may as well go down in the medical history books as well.
Have good things happened? Of course. I'm just not inclined to speak of them today. They're pretty boring anyways, as you can imagine, things I take to be "good" in my world would be "normal" in your world. Think clean underwear, waking up in the morning, propane for the BBQ, ripe fruit, 2 arms, 2 legs and 2 eyes. I take it where I can get it.
my words are like a rope
that's wrapped around my throat
wash my mouth with soap
for words unfit to quote
i have lost my way
but I hear tell
about a heaven in Alberta
where they've got all hell for a basement