I'm just sitting on my little deck off this fantastic hotel, wanting a glass of wine, back really hurting for the first time in the trip and smoking, smoking. I've been putting off sitting down and composing a post and I've just watched the first three episodes of "Long Way Round" in which Ewan McGregor says at one point, "I just can't get around this in my head. I need to get on the bike and ride for an hour and a half and let it just seep in."

It's occurred to me that I have, so far, just been using all my words to chronicle the things I've been seeing and the reason I've only gotten this far is that there is an overwhelming amount of information to impart here. It exhausts me just to think about getting it down. I've still got to tell you / myself all about Fremantle Prison, Rottnest Island, the tour to the Valley of the Giants, the giant storm in Perth and tomorrow, I'll add the Australia Zoo to that.

But I've yet to talk at all about how I feel about all of it. Because I don't really know. I'm feeling as if I've got about as much emotional depth as a photocopier.   As I said before my back is really hurting and I'm regretting not getting some acupuncture in the little mall I was in this afternoon. Up until now, my back has held up better than I ever imagined, although after the bike ride and snorkelling at Rottnest my knees were killing me for a couple days (and talk about saddle sore, whew!), so I guess I shouldn't be suprised that it seems to have decided to assert itself.

I would probably kill one of these massive bats here in Brisbane with my bare hands and eat its liver raw right now for a good ol' fashioned bathtub full of hot water and ginger.

I'm in a place called Fortitude Valley here in Brisbane and on my little walk about the area today (time to buy shampoo and toothpaste, etc, now that I'm not staying with friends), it's a place filled to bursting with Adult shops, bars open until 5 am, 'striptease' clubs and a strong gay community. Quite interesting really.In face, right now, at 8:40 pm on a Thursday night, I can hear the bass from a couple of duelling bars out there. I find that now that I don't drink I can't be bothered to check out the bar scene, as amazing as I'm sure it is here. I'm achy and I have to get up at 7 am for the tour and, although I would have still headed out 10 years ago, I just can't be bothered to now.

Strangely, I'd forgotten that a large majority of Australians aren't particularly attractive (well, the men at least) and yes, I know that's a generalization but I've been in Sydney, Perth and Brisbane in the last two weeks and I can tell you with authority that, well, hot men are in short supply, and were so 5 years ago when I was here. So, why, I ask myself, should I get all dolled up, head out to a loud bar I'm probably too old to enjoy, to yell / converse at people I'm not particularly attracted to when I can't even drink to give myself the semblance of having fun.

Oh, what the world of Jen has come to. It's so.... normal.

I'm so glad I got to spend the time I did with T3 and his family up at the farm and with Yeti in Perth. They're fantastic people and I wish I could see them more often than I do. There hasn't been much room in my head for Matt and that's good as well, although I did have a long convoluted dream about him this morning which has done my head in a bit today. It makes me a little resentful - which is nothing new, really, - as the Matt thing has made me resentful for a long time now. I wish I could get past that and really truly back to the part where we laughed and loved and then, moved on with intermittent moments of fond memories and a little smile.

So before I devolve into all that shite I am going to post this little interlude and hit the shower....