Driving Down the Yellow Line

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (46%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (46%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Overall you appear to have fairly Equal Hemispheres

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According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

Sneaking Suspicion

I go back to the neurologist at the end of the month so I've been trying to come up with a comprehensive list of continuing sumptoms related to the headaches. See, I've always thought that the headaches were related to the musculoskeletal issues that were affecting my arms and legs. Makes sense, right?

But then why would the headaches be getting worse and worse while everything else has been getting better? Is it a completely different thing going on in the Jen body?

Eventually, on the web, I found this.... (I've bolded my particular dealios)

Eye Pain and Eye Problems:

Bloodshot eyes

Blurring of vision

Eye pain above, below and behind eye

Pressure behind eyes

Light sensitivity

Watering of the eyes

Head Pain, Headache Problems, Facial Pain:

Migraines

Forehead pain

Cluster headaches

"Sinus Type" headache

Hair and/or scalp painful or sensitive to touch

Headaches at the back of the head, with or without shooting pain

Ear Pain, Ear Problems:

Hissing, buzzing, ringing, or roaring sounds

Diminished hearing

Clogged, "stuffy", itchy ears

Feeling of fullness

Ear pain without infection

Neck and Shoulder Problems:

Neck pain

Tired, sore neck problems

Shoulder aches

Back pain (upper and lower)

Arm and finger tingling, numbness, and/or pain

Stiffness

Still with me here? Musculoskeletal, right? Now here comes the interesting part.

Teeth and Gum Problems:

Clenching during the day or at night

Grinding teeth at night (bruxism)

Tooth pain

Sensitive teeth

For the last year I've been using sensitive teeth toothpaste and yeah, I've always been a clencher so I picked up a new geeky mouth thing a couple of months ago from the dentist in case the stress was making me clench more.

Mouth, Face, Cheek, and Chin Problems:

Pain in cheek muscles

Uncontrollable tongue movements

Jaw and Jaw Joint Problems

Limited opening

Inability to open the jaw smoothly or evenly

Jaw deviates to one side when opening

Inability to find the correct bite with teeth

Clicking or popping jaw joints

Uncontrollable jaw movements

Jaw pain or tenderness of the jaw

Dull, aching facial pain

Biting or chewing difficulty or discomfort

Clicking sound while chewing or opening the mouth

Grating sensation while chewing

Reduced ability to open or close the mouth

For the last 6 - 8 months one side of my jaw's been dislocating itself every once in a while. My face hurts. I can't eat anything that requires a lot of chewing (ie: cereal) because my jaw muscles kill me. For the last couple of months when I close my teeth that same side clicks. It all grates when I open my mouth wide. In February I was at the dentist twice because my bite feels funny (I tried to explain this by saying I could no longer chew my nails, ie: my bite's off so that I can no longer grasp things with my teeth, cutting a thread, chew the sides of my nails.) They thought this was funny and so I guess they didn't take it seriously but doesn't it indicate a major sudden change to my bite if I can't do something I've always done?

Are you starting to get the same sneaking suspicion I am?

Balance problems, vertigo, dizziness

Throat Problems:

Swallowing difficulties

Tightness of throat

Sore throat with no infection

Voice fluctuations

Laryngitis

Tongue Pain

I don't have any of the throat things BUT at this point, I'm like, hello! who's reading my mind?

I talked to Dr. Olympics about this yesterday and he did a couple of fancy Active Release maneuvers (which, seriously caused me some major pain - if he weren't such a lovely man, I'd not be liking him very much) on my jaw. For the next five hours, my constant headache subsided to a level where I ALMOST couldn't feel it.

For maybe the second or third time since last December.

Regardless if all this has been worsening because of the stress of being 'broken', if it's an injury in itself (ie: that rifle that bounced off my mouth in basic or any of 800 other head related traumas during training) or it's caused by one of the arthritis'es, I'd say, ladies and gentlemen, that what's going on with my head is....

temporomandibular joint (tmj) syndrome.

And not once in the last 14 months has a doctor, specialist, dentist or anyone else thought to look at my jaw.

I get the feeling that after I see the neurologist again I'll be beginning another round of treatments based on an entirely 'new' idea.

Not that that's a bad thing.

I Love My Local Library

As much as I vehemently disagree with the use of this particular word by most people, today I picked up Cougar, A Guide For Older Women Dating Younger Men from the library.

I figured it'd be good for a laugh.

And, except that it actually seemed to be seriously albeit humorously written, it was.

My favorite bit (it's not a particularly bulky read)...

If the cougar's in-depth knowledge of the many benefits of sex isn't enough to interest the younger man, he need only consider the following:

A COUGAR WON'T:

~want to be introduced to the family - ever

~want to introduce him to her family - if they're still alive

*SNORT*

I Am A Tree.

The new quotes over there on the right are a reflection of how I feel about yoga.

After picking up The Yoga Face from the library a couple of weeks ago and reading a little bit I started trying a few of the poses.

Now, I'm not going to get all up on the bandwagon here, cause I'm not a bandwagon 'hot new thing' kind of person. Not that that's a bad thing. It's just not who I am. I won't be rushing out to buy a mat. I'm not going to participate in group classes. Especially the smelly ones. I'm not going to say much about it, except this once.

I'm not looking for some hot body (cause in fact, my body's pretty damn good for 38). I'm not looking for inner peace, revelation or to be one with my inner consciousness.

I'm just trying to loosen up. Stretch it out. Move it around in a gentle way that isn't going to make me worse. This seems to do it.

Someone asked me the other day if I was feeling better since I'd been off work and the answer to that is... I feel less stressed. But, are the headaches better? No.

Is it working? I dunno. Will it? I dunno. Movement, however, is always a good thing.

And it seriously amuses the cats.

West Wind

I had occasion today to be wandering around in my books and it occured to me that we hadn't had a poem in here for a while (nor new quotes so I need to find some new fitting ones as well, which I shall do tomorrow).

West Wind, a birthday gift one year from Pob (who I can't link to because I don't know where he's gone.... anyone?). Regardless, this book gives me something new every time I open it and it is as dear to me as ever.

You are young. So you know everything. You leap

into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me.

Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without

any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me.

Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and

your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to

me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent

penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a

dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile

away and still out of sight, the churn of the water

as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around the

sharp rocks – when you hear that unmistakable

pounding – when you feel the mist on your mouth

and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls

plunging and steaming – then row, row for your life

toward it.

~ Mary Oliver ~

Sometimes Being a Housewife Involves Leaving the House

Damn.

I was in bed already! But, I couldn't sleep - I wasn't as tired out by my day as I thought I was - and so I got up and DAMN.

I've been dared.

Fine. Then to bore you to death, I'm going to tell you about my day.

I crawled out from under the sea of happy fur on my head at 10 am. Forgot that I hadn't left the house in four days so for the fourth day in a row I had no cream for my coffee. Nor for the cats - who are sitting, as always, patiently by their dishes for their morning cream when I stagger out from the shower.

I gave them yogurt instead. And had tea.

Neither of us was pleased.

At 11 am I left the house, dropped some library books off and got on the bus at 11:10.

For some reason the bus was really really fast and instead of getting where I was going (ie: the very end of the line) when I supposed I was, I was a full 20 minutes early.

I went to get coffee.

Whereupon at some point I realized I was wearing yoga pants, a shirt made from bamboo and drinking a Starbucks coffee in Broadmead Village. Trust me when I say I was utterly grossed out by my own unthinking pretentiousness and had to compensate by unsubtly smoking in the bus shelter and glaring at the old ladies.

At 12:16 I got on another bus and continued to my osteopath's house for my 12:30 appointment.

Now, because the bus that goes by the osteo's house is only once an hour and my appointment with (let's call him) Simon (cause that's his name) is usually an hour, I've got it all worked out (after the last 2km hike at my first appointment) that I get in at 12:30, out at 1:30 and back on the bus at the end of his road at 1:44.

Simon had other plans. He always tells me what he's done at the end of the session but really, he's an osteopath and he's doing things I don't really get so all I can tell you is that after he wiggled my thyroid, freed up the doohickey that was pulling on the right side of my esophagus, shifted some of the bones of my skull and opened up my diaphragm to release the fascia, well, it was 2:07.

Next bus? 3pm.

So, I walked. I walk fast, people, and to get back to where I could pick up my bus home it was a 45 minute heartpumping skedaddle.

I picked up cream. Fed the cats. Watched NCIS and House. Did a little yoga. Ate a bag of chips and a couple of Eggos. Called Marjorie about scheduling Cabotses dental surgery next week. Had a hot bath. Went to bed.

And now, here I am.

she’s the beat of my heart,

she’s the shot of a gun.

she’ll be the end of me,

and maybe everyone.

Some Days

I really think I should give this place up.

I'm so uninspired.

And boring.

But then, I think, I'll be traveling again next year and I'll probably want it then.

So, there you have it.

The big reason the torture continues.