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Monday
Oct242005

The Unsilence of the Lambs

(note: it takes a ton of time to upload pictures so I'm uploading only the pertinent ones for now but I have gone in and added captions to most of them)

Sunday, October 16

I am sitting outside of my own little house on Timbo's farm listening to the lambs calling for their mothers (they've been separated out). It's about midnight and there's a full moon in an endless sky as I puff away on a cigar and drink a glass of wine (I've just hauled 7 bottles across Australia).

I guess though that I should skip back to yesterday and work my way forward, which I shall endeavor to do from the porch as my very first Australian spider has dominion in the kitchen. And yes, I took a picture of it.

I arrived in Perth, met by Tim and his awfully cute girlfriend Heidi, took a whirlwind tour through a mall so Heidi could pick up a shirt for the party we were going to later before heading to the Scarborough Beach area to the house of Tim's mate Andrew and his fiancee Sal. Who is utterly endearing and referred to me today as her first international friend.

It was about time for sunset so Tim dropped me off at the beach so I could watch it before we went down to Cottesleigh (sp?) for Sal's 21st birthday party - which is a bit of a deal here, 21st birthdays, that is.

Tim's quite funny in that he talks about Western Australia as if he's a travel brochure and quite often mentions how lucky he is. He actually said, "Quite a lovely safe and clean beach, apart from being famous." It's very sweet.

Anyways, the party was great and there's pictures of all of that as well (as soon as I upload them). I had lovely chats with tons of people in a private function room at a hotel facing Cottsleigh beach and we headed back to the house about midnight to sack out on the couch.

Today, once we all got moving, we had a chook (chicken) lunch with Heidi's friend Emma before Tim and I headed out of Perth to his farm - which is in Brookton Shire.

I'd try to describe all this in better detail but I don't really have the words so I'm hoping that the pictures will speak for themselves.

I'm now inside on the far side of the room from Mr. Big Black Spider. I got about close enough to make sure it wasn't a Redback (ie: the poisonous ones) but that's as far as I'm willing to go. Seriously, that blue dot there? THAT'S BECAUSE I FORGOT TO TURN ON THE RED EYE AND HIS EYE IS SHINING AT ME.



Tim's parents are lovely and the farm is pretty neat - tomorrow is 'shave the sheeps bums' day - of course there IS a word for it that I've forgotten since dinner - so once I'm up and around in the morning I'll be heading down to the sheds for a little slice of farm life.

One thing I have definately learned that I need to do for next time is learn more about my own country. There are too many questions I just couldn't answer about Canada the last few days and frankly, I feel a bit stupid about my own country. Politics is big here, for one, and I don't follow them at all so I can't even vaguely describe or compare "us" vs "them" for anyone.

On the way here we HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, I THINK I'VE JUST PEED MYSELF. I'm sure half the country just heard me scream. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye and not 18 inches away a huge honking ginormous fuck-off spider is running along the windowsill beside me. I think I actually heaved.

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41342960-S.jpg

Now I've barricaded myself in the bedroom and have just spent a good five minutes shaking the bed out. At least the big black spider looked like something I'm used to but that last one is so utterly ALIEN I don't think I'll be able to sleep. At least not without a light on.

I'm not sure my heart can take this.

I want my mommy.

*deep breath* Okay, sleeping fully clothed tonight, socks and all, I tell you. Where was I? Oh yeah, Tim's provided a ton of information on the way here and we drove through an area that burnt last year. The interesting thing here is that a lot of these plants need fire to pollinate and the eucalypt trees aren't killed by the fire, Tim said it took about two weeks before they were sending out new shoots. It was utterly eerie and amazing to drive through that whole area and it's orchards all along that stretch - the fireman worked quite hard to save the fruit trees at the couple of farms in the area and you can see where the fire basically swept through and *around* the lots of trees . Apparantly, it's not the fire per se that the plants need but some sort of chemical in the smoke and scientists have isolated it and are spraying it about to encourage faster crop growth. All very interesting, yeah?

Tim's warned me that if a fox shows up the dogs will bark and there may be possums running about on the roof so I shouldn't be alarmed. The dogs won't bark for long he says but if they do, I can open up the door and not be shy about yelling, "Shuuuuut up" as the dogs 'understand Canadian'.

It'll be a nice quiet couple of days here before Yeti's back in town to show me around and I may even be flying out to the mine for a day when he goes back to work next week, which will be ultra cool.

All I need to do is be able to get a little more used to these bloody spiders and I'll be a happy girl. Although I keep hearing noises in the kitchen so I'm sure they're amassing an army to swarm me as soon as I fall asleep - they're trying to be quiet out there, I think, but they're not fooling me.

I wonder if Tim's parents would find it strange if I crawled into bed with them.

Gah.

Reader Comments (3)

mate, if that first spider is sitting on normal bricks, it's tiny.

that second one is actually utterly harmless -- it's a "huntsman", they live on mosquitoes and suchlike, and their fangs are too short to penetrate human skin -- they literally can not bite you. but yeah, they do get quite big if you count their legs. at least twice the size of that one on the brick window sill.

and the word you're looking for for what tim's parents are doing is "Crutching". nasty to look at but not that painful and the alternative is... nasty.

you sound like you're having a top time. i'm jealous.
October 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterSaltation
Okay - Australia is soooo not a place I will be visiting EVER!!! Looks beautiful, but the spiders would do it for me. I don't care if they are an eighth of an inch - being in the same room as one? Not gonna happen. You have more balls than I do.
October 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterPhil
Sweet Christ on a crutch, I don't care how harmless that spider might be. Nothing with that many legs should be allowed to exist. Gack!
October 24, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterspecial k
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