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Thursday
Apr212005

Slightly Less Verbose

So, today was my three month probationary period what-cha-ma-callit. I've been there since 22 November but until the end of January I was a contractor. I don't pay much attention to the three month things and never does anyone else from what I've seen but I am part of the union again and so.....

Anyways, I roll my sorry sadsack plague infected ass into work on Tuesday morning and there's an email.... "Check my calendar and book an appointment for your evaluation. I have concerns."

The next available time? Thursday. Two and a half days later. Two almost guaranteed virtually sleepless nights. Because, even if I weren't in complete and utter paranoia 'take-everything-personally-mode' you KNOW I'll be freaking out. It's that cryptic I.HAVE.CONCERNS. thing.

As YJ so succintly put it in an email I'm too deathly ill to formulate an intelligent and thoughtful answer to... "Here's a grenade. So just relax for now and I'll bring you the pin later. T'ra, darling!"

Anyways, turns out I'm fantastic, they're thrilled to still have me, I'm proactive at handling issues (see, in real life I really do freak out a lot less than I do in here) etc etc. Do I feel excluded from the group? No? Then I'll not worry about you. Have you and ** worked it out? Yes? That's fantastic.

You know, I like my boss. She's pretty flat out straightforward and I like that in a person. It's mutual, which is nice. But still, this has been a bitch of an adjustment and there's too much info and too much estrogen and too much sensitivity and just *too much* in there. I didn't want to learn project management, I wanted to be a tech and this job is so much lighter on the tech than it was made out to be.... I like to do things myself. I don't want to manage other people. I don't like other people and managing them implies that you need to be nice, that you need to be patient, that you need to care.

Okay, it's not that bad but whatever, I still have some pretty horrifying days when I really shouldn't be dealing with others and project management just doesn't allow the breathing space I've been requiring.

It's been a bitch of a million adjustments over the last few months for me.

Whatever. We move ahead. Sometimes only by inches.

But I'd like to go on record that as prudent as 'being prepared' is, I could have done without the two days of anticipation, defenses, tactics and strategies that played out in my head.

In other news, I sent a parcel by boat and car to the Brookton Shire about February 5th and received a text today....

Finally received your package today. LOVE the t-shirt, & the pens, & the stickers, & the card... everything really! Will have to return the gesture. T3 xox

Sad - a 35 year old and a 30 year acting just so much like a bunch of pre-teens. I send stickers and pens. He loves them. (oh, the tshirt was hilarious though - I should post a pic, once I figure out how this website works). But, that's what parcels from far away are for. Smiling faces. But since T3 is absolutely terrible at even emailing, I think the mere *thought* of a return package will have to be enough for me. But, even better, the shire (I love that) is right beside the 'Shire of Wandering' and I don't care who's farm it is - I'm camping in it for a night while I'm there. It just seems so perfect for me, don't you think?

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Reader Comments (2)

Please take this as the compliment as it was intended...

You are much more chatty and open in your new home. It sure looks good on you. Of course maybe it's the 9 pounds you lost.

Take Care
Michael
April 21, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterBloing Idiot
It just seems so perfect for me, don't you think?

Why yes, I do think.

:-)

April 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJen, also
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