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Go, go, go....stop!

I've been sitting here looking at this poor blank page for a good ten minutes - thinking about what to say, the way these posts have changed into some sort of updatey thing.... and have decided, as they say in wine country - "sip happens". 

It's strange and wonderful how things in life change so fast and then immensely frustrating that everything that needs to be done forces it to come to a screeching tire burning halt.

The decision for Jeff to sell his house and move out here to be with me seemed like the big decision but, in fact, it's becoming the easiest part of this new chapter in our lives.  The town he lives in used to have a big plant of some sort - wait, let me look that up - ahh, here it is.  You can imagine, I'm sure, what the real estate looks like out there, logging into the MLS listings shows the entire city as one big for sale sign.  Knowing Jeff, he'll take the first offer he gets and get out but, even before we get that far, he's got to reroof and change the flooring.  Hard to do when you're not at home, or even in the province, more than eight or so days a month.

If you add to that the disparity between housing prices (read profit / downpayment potential) there and here on the island.... well, it's a daunting thought.   I can only talk myself into believing that the screeching halt in my own life - namely, any kind of compensation from the military, potentially now yet another year away - is tied to that.  Cosmically.  Astrologically.  Or some such other 'ally'.

Although, really, it's a tough sell.  There are many things I need the money for right now, the most important of which is the $15,000 to finish my teeth, which can't safely be put off past August.  I'm carrying a lot of stress around that.  Unfair, hated stress.

Considering what I've put my back through so far this year, it's held up amazingly well, well enough for me to start to believe that the nightmare of the last five years may be over.  Physically, at least.  A couple of weeks ago, after the trip out to see Kat, my right arm stopped hurting for the first time since August of 1996.  Crazy.  Obviously, computer usage (or more specifically, mousing) aggravates the hell out of it and the break those couple weeks gave me has helped it to turn a corner.  I don't believe for a second that my shoulder will be permanently okay but at least now I can work on re-establishing some of the lost 60% muscle on that side.

My legs still don't work.  I'm hoping that the appointment that I missed last month, which is now booked for the day after my birthday, will give me some hope for some type of cure for that.  We shall see.

Jeff is currently back at home and should hear tomorrow about the next load, hopefully (fingers crossed) one that will bring him back west in time to spend the weekend of my birthday with me.

The first birthday since high school on which I will have a boyfriend.  How messed up is that?  I don't expect lots of big gifties or anything, just having him here will be enough for me, but it's a little strange to even contemplate what a birthday as "two" instead of "one" will be like.

I could probably go on for a bit longer as I do have lots to say, but I'm working today and must be off to get myself together for that.  

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Reader Comments (2)

Man, you just can't have a dull life can you! Congratulation, commiserations and hugs babe - and have an awesome birthday, it's about time you had a significant other to help you celebrate :)
July 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfishboy
xx happy birthday for whenever it is... and yay for less pain!(shit, you sound sore all over... i have none of the history on this, but i'm glad things are on the up!)
July 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentereroica

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