Saturday
Oct152005
Park Like Setting
Saturday, October 15, 2005 at 01:54AM
Thursday, October 13
"Are you in love?"
"No."
'But you look like you are someone who wants to eat every part of life, how could you not be in love?"
"Ahh, maybe someday."
"Can I come closer to you?"
No.
*stomps off* "You see, THAT is why you are not in love, you are Closed Off." *mutter mutter*
And that, ladies and gentleman, was the first man who tried to pick me up, this afternoon in the Royal Botanic Gardens. He wasn't Australian, I think he may have been Iranian or something in that area of the planet.
Melbourne Matt tells me that men here are inspired by Ivan Milat, who apparantly picked up backpackers in New South Wales National Parks in the early 2000's, raped them and slit their throats.
Mr. Smart Ass.
So, yes, I am back in the shop asking all sorts of questions. Because there are many things I do not understand about Australia and I'm pretty sure it's not okay to accost people on the street to ask insane questions.
Because, you know, accent aside - they think you are insane.
So - things I have found that are completely different and/or terribly strange and confusing:
-the "half-flush" and "full-flush" options on the toilets
-they auction their real estate - they don't sell it
-you cannot order any coffee without hot milk (ie: it is ALL specialty coffee)
-an awful lot of stuff has no way of being closed to the elements - ie: toilet facilities are outside or there is no glass in the door, just a lattice
-Asians with Australian accents
-there are parrots just flying around (I've never seen a parrot in the 'wild' - Matt's parent thought that hilarious)
So, I think I've gotten over the part where I couldn't figure out why there were cars EVERYWHERE with people just sitting in them (hint: the drivers side is on the other side of the car) then there was the problem that (and this is actually quite reasonable) the people on the sidewalk are in my way. Cause, you know, our left arm in to the inside of the sidewalk because that's how we drive and their right arm is in the inside because that's how they drive
I'm sure I'm annoying the shit out of Melbourne Matt with the questions, "Do you have pennies? Why do you auction houses? Can you explain coffee to me? What if I....? Why do you...>?
-------later--------- Thursday I didn't do a whole lot actually - some shopping in Toorak, the Royal Botanic Gardens which are just at the end of my street and then I just drank a lot and annoyed Melbourne Matt.
So, today, apart from a mild hangover - I HAVE A COLD. arg. double arg. So I feel crappy and it's already 12:15 and I'm still sitting on my butt drinking tea.
I'm not too worried about it though - that's the good thing about knowing you're coming back. Once I finish this I am wandering off to downtown for the first time to see the Melbourne Gaol and then meeting my cousin for dinner. Then back here to pack as I'm off in the morning to Perth.
"Are you in love?"
"No."
'But you look like you are someone who wants to eat every part of life, how could you not be in love?"
"Ahh, maybe someday."
"Can I come closer to you?"
No.
*stomps off* "You see, THAT is why you are not in love, you are Closed Off." *mutter mutter*
And that, ladies and gentleman, was the first man who tried to pick me up, this afternoon in the Royal Botanic Gardens. He wasn't Australian, I think he may have been Iranian or something in that area of the planet.
Melbourne Matt tells me that men here are inspired by Ivan Milat, who apparantly picked up backpackers in New South Wales National Parks in the early 2000's, raped them and slit their throats.
Mr. Smart Ass.
So, yes, I am back in the shop asking all sorts of questions. Because there are many things I do not understand about Australia and I'm pretty sure it's not okay to accost people on the street to ask insane questions.
Because, you know, accent aside - they think you are insane.
So - things I have found that are completely different and/or terribly strange and confusing:
-the "half-flush" and "full-flush" options on the toilets
-they auction their real estate - they don't sell it
-you cannot order any coffee without hot milk (ie: it is ALL specialty coffee)
-an awful lot of stuff has no way of being closed to the elements - ie: toilet facilities are outside or there is no glass in the door, just a lattice
-Asians with Australian accents
-there are parrots just flying around (I've never seen a parrot in the 'wild' - Matt's parent thought that hilarious)
So, I think I've gotten over the part where I couldn't figure out why there were cars EVERYWHERE with people just sitting in them (hint: the drivers side is on the other side of the car) then there was the problem that (and this is actually quite reasonable) the people on the sidewalk are in my way. Cause, you know, our left arm in to the inside of the sidewalk because that's how we drive and their right arm is in the inside because that's how they drive
I'm sure I'm annoying the shit out of Melbourne Matt with the questions, "Do you have pennies? Why do you auction houses? Can you explain coffee to me? What if I....? Why do you...>?
-------later--------- Thursday I didn't do a whole lot actually - some shopping in Toorak, the Royal Botanic Gardens which are just at the end of my street and then I just drank a lot and annoyed Melbourne Matt.
So, today, apart from a mild hangover - I HAVE A COLD. arg. double arg. So I feel crappy and it's already 12:15 and I'm still sitting on my butt drinking tea.
I'm not too worried about it though - that's the good thing about knowing you're coming back. Once I finish this I am wandering off to downtown for the first time to see the Melbourne Gaol and then meeting my cousin for dinner. Then back here to pack as I'm off in the morning to Perth.
in Melbourne
Melbourne 
Reader Comments (2)