Monday
Jul042005
Mom Really Wasn't Kidding When She Said "Quit Making that Face or It'll Stay That Way"
Monday, July 4, 2005 at 07:09PM
So, yeah. Apparantly, my nose IS still crooked and that was a little wishful thinking, there. It's just not as crooked as it WAS.
I was informed this morning that the reason it feels all strange inside my nose is that all the cartilage up there is held together by permanent stitches. The reason it's crooked is because on one side the stitching is apparantly tighter than the other.
Okay, yeah, I'm lucky to be alive and this doctor performed miracles, I love him, don't get me wrong ... but why is my fucking lot in life for nothing to go well from beginning to end? Really? I haven't been banging my face into any more shit for the last three weeks - why won't it just heal like everyone else's face would?
Whatever. Deep breath. Find my happy place.
Next? Hello? Who's next in line please? Hello? Ah, hi there!
The thing poking out on the side of my nose, well both sides really, but one's really bad - I was right - it is bone. The edges of my cheekbones in a couple of the places they were broken, to be exact.
How do we fix this, you ask? Besides surgery in a year when I'm supposed to be gone from this place?
It seems that facial surgery is one of the very few where you can affect the outcome of it for weeks after the surgery.
By this, I mean that I have been told to push the tip of my nose over to the left. A LOT. Like all the time. While also massaging and pushing inward (as hard as I possibly can) on the lumps of bone.
Seriously. I can get that in writing if you want.
I think I may just jam it over and tape the fucking thing down while I sleep with two teeny anvils on my face.
I'll tell you what though. It doesn't hurt so much at the time, but when you stop? For the next three hours it's like a little man with a tiny hammer is trying to crack the rest of the way through your face. Or maybe, it's like a really bad sinus headache. Yeah, that's it. A really big bad MOFO of a sinus headache.
Like my face couldn't possibly already hurt enough at this point. It's starting to catch up with my heart.
But, it was a good day, despite it all, in spite of it all? A better one than I've had for quite a few there.
In other, nicer news - the absolutely gorgeous short haired pixie nurse said, "Here, so I don't have to hurt you I'll show you on my nose *since you and I have the same nose*".
And I didn't even begin to think I could explain why I started to cry.
all the world is
I was informed this morning that the reason it feels all strange inside my nose is that all the cartilage up there is held together by permanent stitches. The reason it's crooked is because on one side the stitching is apparantly tighter than the other.
Okay, yeah, I'm lucky to be alive and this doctor performed miracles, I love him, don't get me wrong ... but why is my fucking lot in life for nothing to go well from beginning to end? Really? I haven't been banging my face into any more shit for the last three weeks - why won't it just heal like everyone else's face would?
Whatever. Deep breath. Find my happy place.
Next? Hello? Who's next in line please? Hello? Ah, hi there!
The thing poking out on the side of my nose, well both sides really, but one's really bad - I was right - it is bone. The edges of my cheekbones in a couple of the places they were broken, to be exact.
How do we fix this, you ask? Besides surgery in a year when I'm supposed to be gone from this place?
It seems that facial surgery is one of the very few where you can affect the outcome of it for weeks after the surgery.
By this, I mean that I have been told to push the tip of my nose over to the left. A LOT. Like all the time. While also massaging and pushing inward (as hard as I possibly can) on the lumps of bone.
Seriously. I can get that in writing if you want.
I think I may just jam it over and tape the fucking thing down while I sleep with two teeny anvils on my face.
I'll tell you what though. It doesn't hurt so much at the time, but when you stop? For the next three hours it's like a little man with a tiny hammer is trying to crack the rest of the way through your face. Or maybe, it's like a really bad sinus headache. Yeah, that's it. A really big bad MOFO of a sinus headache.
Like my face couldn't possibly already hurt enough at this point. It's starting to catch up with my heart.
But, it was a good day, despite it all, in spite of it all? A better one than I've had for quite a few there.
In other, nicer news - the absolutely gorgeous short haired pixie nurse said, "Here, so I don't have to hurt you I'll show you on my nose *since you and I have the same nose*".
And I didn't even begin to think I could explain why I started to cry.
Reader Comments (1)
trust yer ole uncle sal there jen.