Out Here in the *Real* World

I am heartily sick of the following people, stuff and/or things:

-believing and being quite aggressively insistent that the new clothes I bought are "fashionable" and look good ONLY because my younger sister, with whom I shopped with once in 18 years and saw a total of 6 times in the last 10 years, taught me well

-the opinions / presented facts of how I should travel, what I should pack, how stupid I am to .., where I should go and who I should see by people who have never fucking travelled

-the idiotic insistence of those who believe they know me, no matter what I say to the contrary. That the words, "I won't be seeing Matt" coming from someone who's pretty upfront are apparantly - a big fat lie.

Seriously, if I were travelling to WA in the 'hopes' of bumping into Matt, one - I'm a big girl - I'd fucking well say, "I'm going to see Matt. It's downright laughable to think I'd bother to LIE if that were my intent. Two - I'm not a shy teenager hanging out at the mall and I'm not travelling anywhere in the 'hope' of anything and three - because if I wanted to see Matt - I'd just fucking CALL MATT and say, "Can I see you?", rather than pay $1200, fly all the way to the other side of the world without even knowing if he'll be there and just sort of hang about in his city.

-the insistence that I buy a certain thing even though I've not only bought something else already but didn't buy that thing without testing out the thing you keep insisting is the best and rejected it as CRAP

-being told I paid too much, I paid not enough, I should have bought buy brand-name, I shouldn't have bought brand name, I didn't do what YOU would have done. Guess what? I don't care what you would have done and furthermore, not only have you not done what I'm doing - I didn't ask for your opinion. oops

-enduring "my, how NICE for you" comments even from the people who are supposed to be supporting me

-living amongst people who feel that a small portion of information extrapolates into the full story and building their bullshit cases on that

-people who think that because I'm happy with the choices I've made lately, have the right to decide I'm not paying enough, I'm not suffering enough

-people who forget that they encouraged me to do this who believe that now that gives them the right to make hurtful upon hurtful comment because they've suddenly decided they're jealous or their lives aren't perfect or great or they're not happy

News-fucking-flash - my life isn't perfect either. It's not up to you to decide fuck-all except whether to be around me or not. I have what I have because I work really hard for it. I'm doing what I'm doing because I've chosen to cut pretty much everything out of my life except this trip. I'm choosing to sacrifice one thing to get another. Just because I booked this trip it doesn't mean I'm swimming in cash.

So, deal with your own shit, I'm done with letting it go by. I've just spent two days being stressed out and upset and awake at night because other people are so poisonous, while at the same time learning a new job and trying not to be worried about my own future and finances. And so, today, the line has been crossed and from here on in - all the people up there I was just talking about have used up all of their chances and don't get any more.

Not one more.

And I hate being this angry, so I had to write it down. I think I'm better now. Mostly.

Comments

[Jen, also]

And so, today, the line has been crossed and from here on in - all the people up there I was just talking about have used up all of their chances and don't get any more.

Another excellent, wise choice. If you want my unsolicited, but 1000% supportive, opinion.

You go, woman. Wherever the hell, whenever the hell, whyever the hell you want to.

[Chris]

*points up* Yeah, what she said.

[Vanessa]

You're so out of there already. :)

[james]

hey. *hug*

want me to kill 'em?





stop laughing.