The End of 2007 - Part One

I know that for all the years of the blogging, I've always done a Christmas/New Year's post. A post about the year before, what I've learned and where I see the next year going. This year, you may have noticed, that has been absent (well, along with almost any posts at all). Frankly - 2007 sucked. As did 2006, btw.

Oh yeah, I learned things. Wahoo. I became stronger. Woot!

But at what cost?

I'm not sure I can say that it wasn't worth it. Truly. But that certainly will never make it okay.

As the lovely Kaetlan said...

It's 11:44pm as a I begin writing this, and I'm not sure what to say. I started this blog 6 weeks into 2003, and since then have had something to say, however cursory, as I stood on the cusp of the next year. (Click any December in my archives, and you'll know I'm not kidding.)

Not so much this year, and maybe that's a good thing.

When I look back on the New Year's Eves of 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007, I only remember feeling a lot of wishfulness of a worried kind, and for good reason: things sucked so terribly financially or emotionally that expressing my hopes and wishing for the best in the future was apotropaic — I sought to ward off anything else bad happening by saying I knew everything would be all right.

And things were all right, in the sense that I didn't wind up shitting in a shoebox under an overpass. But they were never all right in the ways that mattered to me. They weren't. I was always so broke and worried about money; I was so heartbroken and frustrated and lonely; I felt like a failure too poignantly.

There is a post at the end of 2006 - and it's optimistic and happy and blah blah blah. And it's not untrue. In the sense of K's last two paragraphs above.

I do feel badly, however, in the lack of the having anything to say. So here I am, stealing Jen's meme and putting some thought into the answers....

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Kidnapped a living being in the dark of night to save it's life.

Ate kangaroo.

Yardwork.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any resolutions last year. This year, I went to bed at 7pm on New Year's Eve and got up at 10 am on New Year's Day so in that sense there will be no "New Year's Resolutions" this year either. I'd like to pay off what's accumulated in the last 15 months because of my injury. I'd like to quit smoking, again, this year - hopefully for good. There are other things I'd like to happen this year but they're out of my control so these two (and one I won't share) are the ones I do have a measure of control over.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Other than my own? None.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

A resolution of the disability compensation owed to me by the military for the last 15 months.

My licence back. And a car. If only because I've taken a job that, due to it's early starting hours, will require LOTS of cabs to get to work.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

There are none. Neither happy nor sad. I'm not the sort of person who remembers dates, in fact the last date I can remember is the day I put my first dog to sleep, in 1989. I couldn't even tell you for sure what date I put the Munchkin down, without looking it up, except that it was end of March, early April.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I didn't allow what's been going on to drive me so far over the edge that I couldn't get back up on it.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I allowed what's been going on this year to drive me over the edge more often than I'd like.

10. What was the best thing you bought?

The luggage I'll use to travel with from now on.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Burgle. Casey. Marjorie.

Relatively new friends who gave me more than I could ever thank them for this year.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?

Two I shall not name.

My stepmother.

The Reserve HQ of the Canadian Military.

13. What song will always remind you of 2007?

I listened to a lot of new music this year and since music itself is such an identifying and important part of my life - here's a list of songs new to me in 2007 that resonated....click the song title for lyrics, click "sample" for a 30 sec shot from imeem..

Lifehouse - Storm

The Rolling Stones - Laugh, I Nearly Died. Sample.

The John Butler Trio - Better Than, Used to Get High - both of these can be sampled here.

The Violet Burning - Crush, full song here.

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah. Sample.

Egypt Central - Home. Sample.

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals - All But One

This'll have to be cut short for now as I've got to get ready and go to work. :)