I've Stared Death in the Face, But Team Sports Scare the Crap Out of Me

So, the Christmas party. Well, actually, I'm just going to tell you about the day leading up to the Christmas party for now.

Up and at the unit at 8 am for parade. Which means we all hang out in a large building and the troop practices marching.

But I'm not allowed to until after basic training so I just stand and watch.

Although, I do have to stand 'at ease' and 'at attention' in the right spots.

(like I know what the rights spots are...)

After they practice, then there's the 'real thing' and there's some presentations and some promotions etc etc.

After that's over (two hours later and my feet are asleep - not sure I can stand around and not fidget for hours on end when I'm going to have to), the CO comes by and says "Can you gentlemen re-stack the chairs?" before doing a double-take and correcting himself.. "Uh, gentleman and lady."...

..which I'd say would be your answer to the question of how I look in combats..

We then head off to the base gym to play floor hockey.

Now, because I'm 'the new kid' I have no idea where any of these buildings are and so one of the MCpl's takes me to meet my troop commander.

Whom it turns out I've already met. It's just that no one told me he was my troop commander. And he was there for the whole "bad cop made me cry" thing.

Great.

Anyways, I get changed into the clothes they issue for PT (physical training) and head off to the gym.

I'm late. Everyone is already in teams and doing their stretching exercises.

One the one hand though, I am utterly relieved that I missed the 'picking of the teams'. You know, that nightmare of every child where you line up and then no one picks you to be on their team? Yeah, that one. The one I lived all my school years.

Apart from the fact that I'm the ONLY ONE in military-issue PT gear - I realize I haven't played floor hockey for a good 22 years and that I can pretty much guarantee I was shitty at it then.

To top it off, bad cop and troop commander are both on my team.

I'd like to say I kicked ass at floor hockey but between my non-existent skills and the gogglesthataretoobigandkeepfoggingup, well, I was shit. Although I did manage to execute one nice save. And then I quit. I figured I should stop on a high note. The only high note.

As my little officer-cadet sister put it when I was telling her about it the other day - "Team sports. Get used to it."

Words to strike fear into even the stoutest of hearts.

New Header. Rough Draft.

My brain is still not back up to speed - anyone got any Jenlife related witty banner suggestions?

But, There's More Amazing Things On The Other Side Of My Coin, These Days

Speaking of which - you know what amazes me every day when I come to work?

The young xray tech - all utter blonde fake mohawk and cool p-diddy shuffle cuteness (did I just say that?) - who is the gentlest and kindest of anyone I've ever seen with every patient he deals with.

Makes me want to cry, sometimes, he does. Or phone his mother.

And our oldest volunteer, Dave, who hauls out a chair to sit by the desk between escorting patients for us - reading the paper when it's slow - sometimes nodding off - letting out a little snore here and there. Utterly adorable. Absolute Elmer Fudd cuteness (and just about as tall).

The other day, I hid around the corner and just waved disembodied orders at him. He giggled and blushed and told me he loved working with me because I'm happy and playful and he loves my hair.

Then the head of our part of the hospital stopped to ask him to attend his speech to the med student graduates this year as an honorary guest.

I asked someone why - turns out Dave's in his mid-nineties and graduated medical school in 1935. He's had two hip replacements and even after all these years, he just likes to come in and hang out with patients.

When I see people like this every day - who make choices I'm not used to seeing - it makes me glad that I'm learning to not give the other kind such a hold over my life and my emotions.

What better way of learning is there, but by example - but by such fantastic examples right in front of me, right now and every day?

It's A Choice You Make - It's A Chance You Take

It never ceases to amaze me that, so very often, when given a choice between having yourself look bad (in your own mind) and fabricating a way to have someone else carry the blame - how often the choice that is made is the latter.

(And, how often in the past, I made that choice myself.)

It never ceases to flatten me what people believe they have the right to do to others.

It never ceases to shock me at the value that people sometimes place on friendship. Apparantly, mine's worth about 30 bucks.

(I'm cheap! Don't know what to get someone for Christmas? Buy my friendship!)

I don't bother to agonize over other people's choices anymore. For years, I did and it helped to make me an angry, bewildered human being. In the last year, I've come to know that as long as I search my heart and make the kindest and most rational choices I could make for myself, while endeavoring as well to make the kindest one in regards to others - then their choices don't matter. I've learned that allowing their choices to make me angry or sad is not only counter-productive and stupid but will never make a solution any more apparant.

I choose to take the responsibility to live with my choices. Good and bad - mostly, I think I can acknowledge to others when I've made a bad one and take the hit for it.

Because I make my choices. And they make theirs.

The whys and the wherefores and the unfortunateness of their choices aren't my problem.

So, I chose this morning to deny access to my site to someone. Because I can. Because it really is my right to feel comfortable in my own little place on the net. Because it really does amaze me sometimes that so many people actually come here and it further amazes me that, occasionally, someone wants to do so after they've consciously chosen not to be a friend.

And now, I'm going to make the only other choice that matters to me today - what to take to work for dinner.

and my heart had a problem, in the early hours,
so I stopped it dead for a beat or two.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
but i cut some cord, and i shouldn't have done that,
and it won't forgive me after all these years

Which Hit Song from 2005 Are You?

Cause every once in a while, these things just crack me up. Via OJ.

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson "But since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on" In 2005, you moved on.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Kit-ty Po-rn

(hopefully that'll confuse the googlers)



But see how relaxed those toes are? He's settled in like the handsome hero he is.

Clash of the Blues

Up this morning and out with 'uncle' Dave in the cube truck to pick up my new bed/couch and now I'm off to work again.

There's a little too much color mixing/clashing going on for my taste but a dark blue cover, new pillow covers and a better 'skirt' (my bedding's under there) will fix that soon enough. Oh, and pictures too. Once I get a breath, new frames and some spare time.



For all intents and purposes though, I'm fully furnished (kitchen and living room/bedroom, 'office') for under $250. Although, I need more bookcases.

Not a bad deal.